I’ve Loved and I’ve lost

When I first laid my eyes on her I knew I was in trouble. It was love at first sight what can I say I was in awe completely smitten by those big brown round eyes. I couldn’t help myself I was desperate and needy and on top of things crazy in love. Maybe her love for me did not develop right away but eventually I could tell she felt the same way from the way she looked at me after a while.

Life’s crazy you know and so was our relationship. Bumpy at times and at times we played in the sun as the sun glimmered on her big brownish blond hair.  I’d yell  at her sometimes  what can I say she drove me crazy.She in turn would cower, run and hide but at the end of the day I knew I would count on her. We always made up mostly from her compromising and acting like the bigger man.

So when she died I guess you can understand why I lost myself. I was heartbroken and on top of things completely lost. I took her for granted, all those times she ran to me when arrived from work battered and tired. For all those times she stood by me when no one could, and how did I repay her I abandoned her when she needed me the most. I knew something was wrong with her that week but I never took the time to find out what. I never bothered to find out what allied her, I just assumed she would be okay after all she always bounced back.

I guess this time she was on her ninth life, there was no bouncing back. My little puppy had finally gone to a better place and for sure if Dog heaven existed I guess she;s looking down on me. So that’s how I lost the love of my life and to be honest I don’t think I’ll be bouncing back soon.

Someone once told me we keep pets for love and cows for milk. I get the logic now. Am cut raw and let bleeding. I know guilt is just a phase in grief. We always feel like we could have done something but at the end of the day everything that has a begging comes to an end. Its just hard accepting that.

So at the end of the day I want you to Know if you had a twin which you probably did I would still pick you. Living without you will be difficult but I’ll carry you in my heart until we meet again.

RIP POPPY 2004-201668a9c682a1043aed524982623bc7772a

Leave a Reply